Family Violence and Family Law in NSW: Recognising the Signs and Understanding Your Options

If you are in immediate danger, call 000. If you need confidential support, call 1800RESPECT (1800 737 732) they are available 24/7.

Domestic and family violence can take many forms and develop gradually. It is not limited to physical violence and can involve a pattern of coercive and controlling conduct rather than a series of separate incidents, such as controlling money, monitoring a person’s movements, isolating them from family and friends, threats, intimidation, repeated humiliation, sexual abuse, or controlling the decisions they are permitted to make.

For people experiencing family violence, separation can raise difficulties. Common concerns include whether they can leave the family home with the children, how to respond if a former partner will not leave them alone, how to protect the children, whether the Court will take the violence seriously, and what evidence to keep.

You do not need to wait for behaviour to become physically violent before seeking advice. If you feel frightened, controlled or unable to make ordinary decisions without fearing your partner’s reaction, take those concerns seriously.

Understanding your options early can help you make informed decisions about your safety and your family. Early advice does not mean you must immediately commence Court proceedings. It enables you to understand your rights, identify potential risks and develop a plan before making decisions about separation, parenting arrangements, property and finances, or your living arrangements.

What does family violence mean under Australian family law?

Family violence is legally defined, under the Family Law Act 1975 (Cth), as violent, threatening, or other behaviour that coerces or controls a family member, or that causes them to be fearful, whether or not it involves physical harm. The definition is deliberately broad and behavioural rather than injury-based. No physical harm needs to be established for behaviour to amount to family violence.

Examples can include:

• physical or sexual assault
• stalking
• repeated derogatory comments or humiliation
• intentionally damaging property
• harming or killing an animal
• unreasonably denying a person financial independence
• unreasonably withholding financial support
• preventing a person from maintaining connections with family, friends or culture
• unlawfully depriving a person of their liberty

Children can also be exposed to family violence even when the violence is not directed towards them. A child is “exposed to” family violence where the child sees, hears, or otherwise experiences its effects on other family members, for example, overhearing threats, witnessing an assault, comforting an injured family member, or being present when police attend an incident. This exposure is relevant to a child’s best interests.

What is coercive control, and is it illegal in NSW?

Coercive control is a pattern of behaviour designed to dominate, intimidate, or control another person, and it has been a standalone criminal offence in NSW since 1 July 2024.

It may look like:

• constantly checking where you are
• demanding access to your phone, emails or social media accounts
• tracking your location
• deciding who you can see
• controlling how you dress
• controlling access to money
• preventing you from working
• threatening to take the children away from you
• threatening you, your family or your pets
• making you feel that you need permission before making ordinary decisions
• using the children to monitor, pressure or communicate with you

The NSW offence currently applies to abusive conduct between current or former intimate partners and carries a maximum penalty of seven years’ imprisonment. It requires proof of a course of conduct that a reasonable person would consider likely to cause fear of violence, or a serious adverse impact on the other person’s day-to-day life, done with intent to coerce or control them.

How can you protect yourself?

If you are experiencing family violence in Sydney or elsewhere in NSW, or are considering separation, obtaining advice early can help you understand the options available to you, including an Apprehended Domestic Violence Order (ADVO) and a tailored safety plan.

Depending on your circumstances, practical steps may include:

• contacting police if you are in immediate danger
• obtaining advice about an Apprehended Domestic Violence Order, commonly called an ADVO
• developing a safety plan before separation
• keeping important documents stored somewhere secure
• changing passwords and reviewing access to your email, banking, cloud storage and social media
• checking whether location sharing or tracking is enabled on your devices
• preserving relevant text messages, emails, photographs and other records
• keeping a clear chronology of significant incidents
• telling trusted people what is happening
• obtaining family law advice about parenting, property and financial arrangements before taking major steps where possible

An ADVO is one form of protection available under NSW law. Family violence orders can impose conditions designed to protect a person from further violence, intimidation, stalking or other prohibited behaviour.

How does family violence affect parenting arrangements?

Family violence is a central factor in how the Court determines parenting arrangements, because it must consider the safety of the child and each person who has care of the child when assessing the child’s best interests.

Where parenting proceedings involve allegations of family violence, child abuse or risk, the Court has processes for bringing those concerns to attention, such as filing a Notice of Child Abuse, Family Violence or Risk. Parties are ordinarily required to attempt Family Dispute Resolution before starting parenting proceedings, but are exempt where there has been, or there is a risk of, family violence or child abuse. The Court can also take prompt action where allegations of family violence or child abuse are raised, including interim or procedural orders to protect any children and parties.

Depending on the circumstances of a case, parenting orders can deal with issues such as:

• where children live
• how and when they spend time with a parent
• supervision of time
• how changeovers occur
• communication between parents
• communication with the children
• restrictions designed to address safety risks

Where an ADVO is in force, parenting arrangements need to be coordinated carefully with its conditions. An ADVO and parenting orders sit under separate legislative schemes, and an ADVO condition can end up conflicting with an existing or proposed parenting order. If proceedings become necessary, tell your lawyer about any safety concerns as early as possible, including concerns about attending Court, being in the same room as your former partner, communicating directly with them, or participating in dispute resolution.

Can family violence affect a property settlement?

Yes. Family violence, including economic and financial abuse, can be relevant to how property is divided after separation. Economic and financial abuse is now recognised as a form of family violence, and the examples of denying financial autonomy have been expanded to include forcibly controlling a party’s money, assets or superannuation.

The Court is required to consider the economic effect of family violence when assessing a party’s current and future circumstances, for example, its impact on a party’s capacity to work, ongoing counselling or medical costs, or debts incurred through financial abuse.

What evidence should you keep?

Evidence can become important in family law proceedings, particularly where the other person denies that family violence occurred.

Where it is safe to do so, consider retaining:

• text messages and emails
• photographs
• police event numbers and reports
• ADVO documents
• medical records
• financial records showing financial control
• screenshots of threats or repeated communications
• records of property damage
• communications involving threats about the children
• a chronology recording what occurred and when
• details of people who witnessed incidents or their aftermath

Evidence of the economic effect of family violence, such as records of restricted account access, coerced debt, or medical and counselling costs, is directly relevant to property proceedings, so it is worth identifying and preserving this evidence early. Do not assume an incident is too minor to record. A series of events that appear insignificant when viewed separately may demonstrate a broader pattern of coercion, intimidation or control when considered together.

How Ramsden Family Law can assist you

If you are experiencing family violence, are concerned about controlling behaviour in your relationship, or are worried about what may happen following separation, obtaining confidential family law advice can help you understand your options.

We assist clients across Sydney and NSW with parenting arrangements, urgent applications, property and financial issues, the interaction between ADVOs and family law proceedings, and strategies designed to protect you and your children.

If you have concerns about your situation, contact us today to arrange a confidential discussion about the steps available to you.

Frequently Asked Questions